daily thought log

1/10/2024 ; 11:27AM

short and sweet one for today. finally mustered up the energy to write out a nature entry. i don't know why it took me so long to write one, it was fun getting to write about my adventures so i don't know why i was putting it off. i guess just the thought of how much it'll take to get everything set up and the pictures and things. but i have nothing better to do so i might as well just do it! i don't know, this is just how my brain works.

i think i'm gonna uninstall instagram again. i feel the brain rot setting in again and i think i just need to distance myself from it and leave it alone. also youtube too maybe... i keep watching true crime and dumb documentaries that do nothing but make me anxious and angry, so i really gotta stop that. trying to fill that space with reading and drawing instead.

i've kind of been in a weird mood lately, probably because i'm about to get my period in the next day or 2, but yeah. just kind of sad and sentimental and like... wistful. makes me want to curl up into a little ball under my heated blanket. or watch something emotional and cry.

anyway, i think that's enough for today. not looking forward to work today because it's been so damn busy all week long. i hope it finally gets to slow down. i'm so ready for the weekend.

1/9/2024 ; 10:58AM

been a minute since i wrote! it's been very snowy here for the past couple days finally! on sunday we actually went snowshoeing which was... surprisingly a lot more physically exerting than i thought. it's basically just walking but with duck feet. the views were nice though so it was enjoyable overall. i got a haircut too and i'm finally starting to like how my hair is coming along! i had to chop it all off last year to go blonde because half my hair was blue, so it was really short for awhile. but it's finally grown out enough where i can cut and style it more like how i want. end goal is a mullet.

on saturday N and i were gonna try and go to houghton like i was mentioning in my last entry, but it has been snowing real bad! we got halfway there before the roads started to get really slushy and slippery, to the point where we couldn't even see the road. we decided it would be best to turn around and head back to town. i'm glad we did because according to lots of people on facebook, other people making the trip up for school had to turn around too because it just kept getting worse. we did stop on the side of the road to play in the snow with mochi so at least that was fun! oh well, the trip will be saved for another time...

this week has already been so damn busy. work yesterday was insanely busy, nonstop calls all day even at 9PM. i ended up having to stay 30 minutes late because i was on a call, and of course it had to be a complicated call. i just hope it starts to slow down today because it's snowing outside and it looks really beautiful, and i just wanna chill and relax.

apparently all this snow is because of a winter storm passing through some time later today. if there's enough snow, N and i are gonna go tubing this weekend! it sounds like so much fun, so i'm looking forward to that. finally winter is here and all the fun wintertime activities can start!

super random and unrelated, but my new obsession lately... grapefruit, cut in half, sprinkled with a bunch of sugar and cinnamon and stuck under the broiler in the oven for a bit until it caramelizes. sooooooo yummy and good and delicious! i think that may be my snack for later today...

i have an appointment in 2 weeks to pick my classes for the winter semester. i'm kind of nervous about starting school, especially in a new state, but i know it's something i need to do and get finished. i'm still thinking about career choices and the future and things, but i'm trying to really not do that right now. again, this year is my year of comfort and peace and just being happy where i am. not really worrying about the future. it's hard, but i'm trying.

anyway, i think that's enough today. i'm gonna work on maybe getting a nature entry written with all my recent adventures. hopefully i can have that out by the end of the day!

have a good day everyone, stay warm!

1/2/2024 ; 1:03AM

happy new year!!

oh wow, what a wonderful day it's been... well, wonderful weekend in general! i spent my whole weekend with N and it was just... so nice and peaceful and fun and amazing! couldn't have asked for a better new years' weekend.

new years' eve we spent at their parent's house and had nachos for dinner and made strawberry cupcakes! after that we headed back to town and walked around in town. it was sooooo cold and icy, we were slipping and sliding around the sidewalk! the town does a little ball drop, and while we didn't stick around to watch it we did pass by and stand around and listen to some of the music they were playing. instead, we went to this wine bar down the block and had some warm drinks and some bread and olive oil to munch on. after that we just headed back home, snuggled up under a heated blanket, and watched the REAL ball drop on TV and watched a movie. which, i'd much rather a chill, cozy night in than out in the cold amongst a bunch of people who are most likely drunk.

it's funny, in all of the relationships i've had in the past, i've never had a new years' kiss where i actually did it AT midnight, so that was a first for me this time! we watched phantom of the paradise (N had never seen it before and i really wanted them to experience it) and then went off to bed suuuper late. today we slept in then went and got ice cream and walked down the breakwall in town which blocks waves from the marina which was cool! it was sooooo cold and the wind was blowing against our cheeks, but it was worth it for the cool views. then we came back home and made dinner of some pork, rice and beans, and squash!

i'm really not looking forward to tomorrow and everything going "back to normal" after 2 long weekends. if there's one thing i want from this new year, is to have a better work-life balance. sure, i work from home so i'm in my personal space 24/7, but it's different when you can't just fully relax and feel at ease because you're still on the clock and a call could come in at any moment. it's just different. so yeah, i really want to spend more time actually doing things i enjoy like drawing and reading and exploring outside. i really neglected a lot of my hobbies this year just because of how busy i was with moving and all of the craziness of life, but i want to relearn how to have fun again! it's good for the brain. just like they say in the shining, 'all work and no play makes jack a dull boy'.

this weekend, me and N are going on a mini roadtrip of sorts to a town 2 hours away called houghton. it is here... that we will be eating at one of the only REAL sushi restaurants in the upper peninsula. i have been craving sushi so badly since moving from florida, and one of the big things that has bothered me is the lack of sushi here. meijer does have a sushi counter where they make sushi, but it's not the same to have it at an actual restaurant. they also serve boba and ramen so there's lots of variety! we may also stop by a smaller town close-by named GAY. there's a gay bar there that sells really funny, cheesy gay merch and it's just really really funny. so yeah, that's definitely a stop.

as far as new years' resolutions, i have plenty. wake up on my first alarm in the mornings, go on walks every day, read at least 1 book a month, draw a couple times a week, exercise more. you know, the usual things. but one of my funner resolutions is to get familiar with oil painting! i got some oil paints and other supplies from michael's last week and i'm really excited to try them out! oil painting is such a completely different world from acrylic, but i think for my specific style of painting it's a lot better for me. but yeah that is something i'm gonna be experimenting with in the next couple weeks.

well, i hope everyone had a great new years' and that this year is kind and gentle to us. we need it for the shitstorm that the past couple have been. this year is definitely going to be my year of rest after all the exhertion of this year.

anyway, i'm calling it here because i'm very sleepy. goodnight everyone!